Happy New Year's Eve

Wow it has been one hell of a year. It started off pretty rough. I remember starting off the year being sick with the stomach bug that my youngest gave to the whole family. It was not pretty and I really hate throwing up. After that it seemed to start off fairly strong with setting up my first bullet journal and I had been seeing a psychiatrist. I had a few resolutions set up but I did not follow through on all of them except for the bullet journal thanks to all the doodling challenges I was apart of. My initial goals for 2017 was eat breakfast, take vitamins, bring lunch to work, work out, no soda and text my family members daily. The only other goal that I seemed to be a close second in finishing was bringing lunch almost everyday. the rest all went to HELL.

This year was all about rediscovering my creativity again. I always complained of not having passion for anything but I guess it was right there all along. I just didn't realize it. After that realization, things just took off. First with creating and designing my bullet journal. It was like an awakening of some sort. It was so fun. When I created my Instagram account I didn't think too much of it, but as I slowly started receiving likes and followers it motivated me to do more. It is almost addicting and a little obsessive to be honest. However, it is crazy to know that my little account has inspired others. Like whaaat!? I started receiving meaningful comments and DMs. Wow...little old me? It feels like I am making a tiny difference in the world. I made new friends and we have inside jokes. I am told my posts make them smile. I am starting to believe the compliments. I really try to spread as much positivity as well. That is sort of the beauty of Instagram, you like what you like and comment as you please. The audience are of all ages from around the world and it truly does not matter. It's the posts and the art that bond everyone together, faces, races, ethnicity, skill aren't necessary. I am so glad to be apart of the community. Perhaps I am drawn to it because there is little to no criticism but I just feel like we are all there to have fun and expose ourselves and it's nice not to have negativity. I'm not trying to be the next award winning artist or anything. What I also noticed is a lot of us started around the same time. I am not sure what caused the boom but somehow we all came coincidentally around the same time and even with similar stories. The ones I am most interactive with are moms and looking for that creative outlet. So strange but also so cool to know we are experiencing similar experiences from all over the world.

This year was also my first time taking drugs to treat my depression. I took Zoloft and it sort of helped but I hated the way it made me feel. Especially in the beginning when starting on it. I can't really remember now but it felt awful. I had decided to stop going to the doctor and also stop the meds on my own. I think stopping the meds on my own was a bad idea but it is finally out of my system. I am not sure how long it took but it took a while. I wouldn't advise doing it without consulting a doctor.

Part of the reason I stopped going to the doctor was because I felt it was getting expensive and the therapist I had to see was separate, which equals more money and time. I know this is potentially for my well being but honestly I did not click with my therapist. She was just convenient but then she eventually left the practice anyways which gave me the out. I would definitely considering seeing a therapist again but I would have to find someone I click with. AS for the psychiatrist, probably not. Drugs are not the way to go for me, however perhaps I have some ADD issue? I don't know and that's the frustration of it all. I don't wait to waste time and resources to attempt to find out what could help and make my body go through all those meds again. I really throws your hormones off. I think that could be a reason why I gained so much weight this year. I am at my heaviest ever and my clothes are really tight. I want to lose the weight but I don't have the motivation. I need to though because the longer I put it off the longer it will take to lose it. I just need to get my mind to cooperate.

This year I accomplished a lot on Instagram. Who knew social media would be a helpful tool with coping with my depression? I started a separate account in July and it has kept me going. Here are my end of the year stats going into 2018:

• 12 completed challenges: oodles of doodles (4), draw with me challenge (2), pinktober (1), dare to geometry 2 (1), my silly doodle challenge (2), artsy doodle challenge (1), and the winter doodle challenge (1).
• 2 incomplete: bohoberry challenge (September) and the simplicity gratitude challenge (November)
• 2 hosted challenges: sillydoodlechallenge - gross groceries and holiday funnies
• 2 series: monster modes and the diaper bowl
• 4 contest/contribution pieces: I'm Awesome Tee, Spread Love Not Hate, Zero Shame Zero Stigma contest entry, Comics_in_a_void contest entry 
• 2 collaborations - participant: exciety's slumber party and casualderision's holiday party
• 4 featured post by beautiful.journals 
• 2 Twitter features by bohoberry
• As of 9:09 pm - 259 posts (not including archived), 634 followers and following 862 accouts
• According to the Instagram insight, I have made 6,962 impressions and I have 21% male and 79% female followers mostly 25-24 years old
• According to 2017 best nine, 19,474 likes for my top nine posts

Sorry to bore with all the stats but if I am able to keep this up, it would be great to have something to compare it with.

This was made a few days earlier so the stats are a little off.

Happy New Year! 

I hope I have the courage this year to be strong, take risks, make moves, and be honest. All the best to everyone for great New Year! Game on 2018!