Happy New Year's Eve

Wow it has been one hell of a year. It started off pretty rough. I remember starting off the year being sick with the stomach bug that my youngest gave to the whole family. It was not pretty and I really hate throwing up. After that it seemed to start off fairly strong with setting up my first bullet journal and I had been seeing a psychiatrist. I had a few resolutions set up but I did not follow through on all of them except for the bullet journal thanks to all the doodling challenges I was apart of. My initial goals for 2017 was eat breakfast, take vitamins, bring lunch to work, work out, no soda and text my family members daily. The only other goal that I seemed to be a close second in finishing was bringing lunch almost everyday. the rest all went to HELL.

This year was all about rediscovering my creativity again. I always complained of not having passion for anything but I guess it was right there all along. I just didn't realize it. After that realization, things just took off. First with creating and designing my bullet journal. It was like an awakening of some sort. It was so fun. When I created my Instagram account I didn't think too much of it, but as I slowly started receiving likes and followers it motivated me to do more. It is almost addicting and a little obsessive to be honest. However, it is crazy to know that my little account has inspired others. Like whaaat!? I started receiving meaningful comments and DMs. Wow...little old me? It feels like I am making a tiny difference in the world. I made new friends and we have inside jokes. I am told my posts make them smile. I am starting to believe the compliments. I really try to spread as much positivity as well. That is sort of the beauty of Instagram, you like what you like and comment as you please. The audience are of all ages from around the world and it truly does not matter. It's the posts and the art that bond everyone together, faces, races, ethnicity, skill aren't necessary. I am so glad to be apart of the community. Perhaps I am drawn to it because there is little to no criticism but I just feel like we are all there to have fun and expose ourselves and it's nice not to have negativity. I'm not trying to be the next award winning artist or anything. What I also noticed is a lot of us started around the same time. I am not sure what caused the boom but somehow we all came coincidentally around the same time and even with similar stories. The ones I am most interactive with are moms and looking for that creative outlet. So strange but also so cool to know we are experiencing similar experiences from all over the world.

This year was also my first time taking drugs to treat my depression. I took Zoloft and it sort of helped but I hated the way it made me feel. Especially in the beginning when starting on it. I can't really remember now but it felt awful. I had decided to stop going to the doctor and also stop the meds on my own. I think stopping the meds on my own was a bad idea but it is finally out of my system. I am not sure how long it took but it took a while. I wouldn't advise doing it without consulting a doctor.

Part of the reason I stopped going to the doctor was because I felt it was getting expensive and the therapist I had to see was separate, which equals more money and time. I know this is potentially for my well being but honestly I did not click with my therapist. She was just convenient but then she eventually left the practice anyways which gave me the out. I would definitely considering seeing a therapist again but I would have to find someone I click with. AS for the psychiatrist, probably not. Drugs are not the way to go for me, however perhaps I have some ADD issue? I don't know and that's the frustration of it all. I don't wait to waste time and resources to attempt to find out what could help and make my body go through all those meds again. I really throws your hormones off. I think that could be a reason why I gained so much weight this year. I am at my heaviest ever and my clothes are really tight. I want to lose the weight but I don't have the motivation. I need to though because the longer I put it off the longer it will take to lose it. I just need to get my mind to cooperate.

This year I accomplished a lot on Instagram. Who knew social media would be a helpful tool with coping with my depression? I started a separate account in July and it has kept me going. Here are my end of the year stats going into 2018:

• 12 completed challenges: oodles of doodles (4), draw with me challenge (2), pinktober (1), dare to geometry 2 (1), my silly doodle challenge (2), artsy doodle challenge (1), and the winter doodle challenge (1).
• 2 incomplete: bohoberry challenge (September) and the simplicity gratitude challenge (November)
• 2 hosted challenges: sillydoodlechallenge - gross groceries and holiday funnies
• 2 series: monster modes and the diaper bowl
• 4 contest/contribution pieces: I'm Awesome Tee, Spread Love Not Hate, Zero Shame Zero Stigma contest entry, Comics_in_a_void contest entry 
• 2 collaborations - participant: exciety's slumber party and casualderision's holiday party
• 4 featured post by beautiful.journals 
• 2 Twitter features by bohoberry
• As of 9:09 pm - 259 posts (not including archived), 634 followers and following 862 accouts
• According to the Instagram insight, I have made 6,962 impressions and I have 21% male and 79% female followers mostly 25-24 years old
• According to 2017 best nine, 19,474 likes for my top nine posts

Sorry to bore with all the stats but if I am able to keep this up, it would be great to have something to compare it with.

This was made a few days earlier so the stats are a little off.

Happy New Year! 

I hope I have the courage this year to be strong, take risks, make moves, and be honest. All the best to everyone for great New Year! Game on 2018!

Merry Christmas!

I can't believe it is Christmas. I finally got my act together and wrapped the gifts for the kids. I feel like I had so much to do. I cranked out 2 completed challenges and still have my own and one other to go. I still haven't started on my bujo yet for 2018. Part of me is holding out because I might get one from my secret santa BUT that's not until Friday, 12/29/2017, which is really late. Should I just pick the journal now? I have 3 options....yes 3. I am obsessed!

Anyways, I also got asked last minute to be in a 21 character collaboration. I can't turn that down! So cool. As I reflect back on my Instagram account, I am so grateful for the friends I have made! They are from all over the world and to connect on this kind of level is so awesome. Through art, entertainment, humor and silliness. I feel like I have a small circle of friends and it's so cool! I also made a new pen pal! She is from Colorado and it's refreshing to actually write someone rather then being digital all the time. I am excited to write back to her!

Here is the new challenge hosted by me and Charlotte (talli_fox). She is so talented and has always participated in my challenges so I was exited to host this with her. I didn't know this before but she says Januarys are hard for her so hopefully this challenge can bring her spirits up if not for a little while.

Getting into the Holiday Spirit

I have been getting into the holiday spirit lately. I'm working on sending out our holiday cards. Not just sending it out but putting my personal touch on it. I'm doing some lettering and hopefully coming up with a fun sticker design for ideallybri. It's great but very time consuming.

I feel like there is so much I want to do and so little time, especially with kids. One of my biggest issues is balancing my time. I am really bad at it. Perhaps 2018, I can help that. I've been looking back at my year and it's pretty sad. I was looking at my list of things to do and I don't think I even checked off one. 😭 This has only been my first year with a bullet journal so at least I can look back on things to highlight my year rather than it be a big blur. My memory is terrible so that's one good thing about it. Here are some of the things that work and didn't work for me:

Some Bujo Take-aways:

• It was fun designing but I need to pay more attention to space
• I don't really need to list dailies because some days nothing is going on
• My bills list is really useful and I should have really kept using it 
• The year at-a-glance was helpful 
• I don't have an index but perhaps I should try to have one this time?
• My list of accounts and pw at the end was useful
• Possible Menstrual tracker

I have been on the hunt for "THE BUJO". "THE BUJO" itself is another motivation for me. If I love the overall bujo I will be more inclined to use it more. I picked up 2 today and I am also considering the Scribbles that Matter ones. Decisions, decisions. The first journal is from Staples. I like the embossed rose gold design and it is easy to open but the pages are lined. The second one is from Michaels. This journal is for artists. It has thicker paper and no lines (which could also be a bad thing). The Scribbles that Matter journal is very well known and used by a lot of bujo-ers. It has dotted paper which is a happy medium between lined and non-lined paper. I haven's seen the journal in person so I am not sure how durable the pages are...




Decisions, decisions.

My little one actually got me sick...He had hand, mouth, foot this whole (with a misdiagnosis from the Dr earlier in the week saying it was strep). It was a very sad, stressful, and tiring time. I think I have a cold. I'm glad I don't have what he had because I would be in so much pain. My poor lil guy!

Being More Social

This week has been fairly exhausting due to the social aspect. The latest podcast from the Overwhelmed Brain that I have been listening to spoke about change. What really resonated with me is the need to change. We have to force ourselves to do something different to reawaken the mind to learn things. Not always in an obvious way like learning something new but simply shaking up your everyday routine. I already had plans made but it is funny how coincidental it was. This week was filled of holiday gatherings. I had 3 holiday parties and let's be real, it can be rough putting on that social mask and mingling. It was awkward but I believe it was also good for me. In the podcast, it mentioned that when you are depressed you don't to do anything. That is how I feel but maybe I am slowly coming around? I have been recently consoling a friend about a personal issue and I felt so rusty with it. It's like I realized I have been sleeping under a rock and I need to get back to civilization.

Anyways, I met some new people and gained new knowledge and insight. Although I still want do nothing it's going to take some time for me to get back into that groove.

In the other social world, I reached 500 Instagram followers this week. I feel like each 100 followers it's getting harder and harder. Anyways, here is my best nine posts from 2017, Holy cow 15,640 likes total from these 9 posts! Thank you!:

 Here is also my latest sillydoodlechallange! I also posted my last of my Diaper Games series! I will post the full version soon.

Mission Complete!

The first ever hosted #sillydoodlechallenge Gross Groceries is in the books! Just like that.  November just flew by! We actually had 5 participants who made it through each day with us! I've done challenges before (as you know) and it is very hard and satisfying to draw daily and complete the whole month. It has been so much fun to see all the creative ideas, hilarious names, and silly stories come out! I can't explain how thrilled I am to have people take this month long daily journey with me and my son. Also, knowing the impact a tiny little challenge made....bonding parent and child, bringing out a silly side that you don't usually bring out, thinking outside box, fighting through a rough day, taking tour mind off things, taking risks with what may not be "funny." I didn't really realize all these things until the end and getting feedback from the participants. Amazing! In the big scheme of things, I made a tiny difference in the world. 

When I was telling my hubby about it, being the gamer that he is, he asked what do you get? Honestly you don't get anything but personal satisfaction for committing and completing the challenge. He then suggested maybe I could come up with a trophy or badge of some sort.  I thought that idea was brilliant! I asked each participant who stuck it out from the beginning to the end to let me know which character was their favorite. I racked my brain a bit but I finally came up with a badge. It was fun putting it together and being able to commemorate the moment. I sent it to each person but I guess I should've mentioned they can use it or post if they wanted to. Not sure if they would've though...LOL.