I have been feeling low these past few days. I'm not sure why but everytime there is a high a low soon follows. I should be excited at all the new and positive moments recently but for some reason I'm not. I am not sure why that is? Is it perhaps I feel as though I don't deserve it?
I am stubborn. I know I need to talk to people to get things off my chest but I don't. I guess I am just so used to keeping it inside. I have several friends who can always lend an ear but I don't use them. Maybe it is because I don't think it is a big deal when subconsciously it really is? Or perhaps it's me not wanting to be a burden on others? Or I don't think anyone would understand? I don't know. It is pretty hard to explain.
Even though I have moments where I want to share my work with the world and I do on Instagram, I am shy to share with people I actually know. Maybe because their opinions matter more to me then that of strangers? I still haven't fully shared my work on fb. I made a page and I share from that page but I have not chosen to invite all my fb friends to it. I suppose that is why I'm holding back.
I found a quote on Pinterest the other day. It says "depression is when you don't care anymore, anxiety is when you care too much and when you are both it is hell." I guess that's me. I care but I don't care and I care but I don't care...wtf right? Sigh...
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